Black Friday, Part Deux

It was a few years ago, when I wrote about Black Friday and a death that occurred at a WalMart.

That being said, I decided, on a complete and utter lark, to make a visit to my local Wally World in an effort to simply procure a few unnecessary items and save a few bucks doing so. My rationale? The prices were super cheap, and it's the Flo; how many people are going to be there?

As Florida Evans said, Damn damn damn! I have failed to ever be so completely wrong before (and I've been wrong a few times). The entire WM parking lot was filled, and the adjoining stores' lots were filled as well. I parked at a nearby bank and walked the entire length of the lot to the doors.

I was expecting to have to wait out side, and lo my surprise when I was allowed in. "I guess we can't be grabbing things, can we?" I asked the door greeter. With a smiles, she replied with a succinct "No." Fine.

I made my way to where I thought the items would be and Damn damn damn! There was so many people there. Imagine going to a home opening football game and being jammed packed with folks intent on their purpose. That's pretty much the climate. As you can see in the video, there's not much room to mess around (the pallets hold all the sale items, and people gathered around them).

For as many people as was there (even if it seems loud in the clip), I was surprised by how eerily quiet it was. People didn't spend that much time talking to one another, almost a subtle plotting going about as to how to procure the most items. I talked to others around me, recognizing a great many people and students, saying hi to them, and offering a gentle ribbing about shopping so late.

At about five minutes to midnight, the PA announced that shoppers could "begin shopping". Amidst whoops, there was a mass scurrying, and I remember oh so clearly the sound of a DVD case hitting the bottom of a cart, but multiplied by a thousand, combined with the equally multiplied sound of hands rubbing and sliding upon cardboard boxes. It was nearly instantaneous and I nearly missed my items trying to take this in.

There were no injuries, but I did hear an interesting story later on that detailed how a woman was so firmly "asked" to replace her prematurely grabbed items before she was "escorted out of the building". I thought that was actually the right thing, but more later.

I made my way through a back aisle to grab either a DVD package or a video game, if one was available. This area was the most jammed pack area of them all. DVD's starting at $1.97 and up, it was madness. I found one of the items I wanted and quickly grabbed one. In stark contrast, I witnessed a woman who grabbed fistfulls (probably six or so cases) of DVDs, took the one she wanted, and dumped the rest on top of the pallets. Nice move, ass.

In trying to depart and pay for my items, I quickly became stuck at a major junction. It literally took me fifteen minutes to simply move out of a traffic jam between a pallet of DVDs and three shopping carts. I paid and quickly departed.

Tubing in a river, watching a sunset, volunteering for charity, and doing a Black Friday opening. What do these have in common? It's something you should do at least once in your life. Me personally, I enjoyed tubing and volunteering immensely. Sunsets I get everyday (my backdoor faces the west, suckas!). WalMart Black Friday? Unless I absolutely know for a 100% fact 1) I will be spending minimun of hundreds of dollars, and 2) that I cannot get that item any cheaper anywhere else, and finally 3) I gotta have it PDQ, then I would do it again. Otherwise, I'll forgo it.

Elements that could affect your experience would, I think, come down to your companions. If you have the right shopping buddies, it would work. It could be a fun, almost clubbing kind of deal. Aside from that, it's still a chore. A thrill ride, quietly and shifty-like-a-criminal sneaking about to get your items.

As with other things you gotta do, I now proclaim "Been there, done that."

Shazam!